Gossips and Voyeurs
by SaidbhinLuch
Summary: Set in the aftermath of Crystal Skull. The rest of the team just wants to know what Daniel got up to in his time out of phase. He's less then willing to say. Just some SG-1 silliness and banter. Not a one shot anymore due to popular demand! Enjoy! Hints of S/J
1. Chapter 1

**Supposed to be studying... and this pops into my head. Oh happy days! Spoilers for 'Crystal Skull'.**

* * *

Sam stared down at her hand in amazement turning it back and forth and smiling slightly. A slight "ahem" caught her attention and she looked up bashfully at Janet who looked at her in amusement.

'I'll give you a few minutes shall I?' Janet asked, rolling her eyes good naturedly at her friends' wonderment. The Doctor turned and clocked at the Colonel who was leaning against the door frame and watching something.

Sam glanced at his amused and yet slightly weirded out expression and followed his line of sight. Daniel was sitting over a pot of coffee and downing a cup in a faster time then she would care to think about. Sam shot the Colonel a concerned look and he rolled his eyes at her as he sat down on the bed next to hers.

They both looked over to see Janet snatch both the pot and cup away from him and Sam could see that she was resisting the urge to smack him.

And with that Sam just looked back down at her hand and smiled to herself.

She looked over at the Colonel as she felt him staring at her, he was smiling oddly and Sam felt herself blush slightly.

She shoved her hand into her pocket and shrank back slightly and saw Janet giving her a weird look. The Colonel laughed quietly to himself, shaking his head and flopping back onto the bed.

Sam glanced around fugitively making sure that everyone else was otherwise occupied before looking down at her hand and grinning to herself.

She had been out of phase.

Cool.

* * *

'Sam!'

'Carter!'

Sam looked up startled as both Daniel and the Colonel stared at her before sharing exasperated expressions and sighing in unison.

'Sorry I was just-'

'Thinking.' Both men spoke as one with matching expressions, eyebrows arched and looking amused. She placed her hand up on her shoulder and rested her cheek on it and smiled ruefully.

'I can't help it. It's amazing we were actually out of phase! I mean the power requirements alone must be immense and to contain the mechanism of transportation through a seemingly innocent skull just-'

'Gives me an infinite headache? Seriously Carter as amusing as your geeked-out state is half of the time, it's just hurting my radiation riddled head right now.' And with that the Colonel placed his head on his folded arms and moaned slightly.

'Doctor Frasier did recommend a treatment for you, O'Neill. You refused it.' Teal'c spoke and Sam swallowed a laugh as she watch the Colonel raised his slightly, so slightly in fact, that she could barely catch the vicious glare being aimed at Teal'c.

Daniel smiled broadly next to his friend and stretched, before tapping the table and bouncing his palms off of it a couple of times. He then winced slightly and Sam figured that the Colonel had kicked him.

'Seriously Jack, go take an Advil or something... I am going to relish in being back in _this_ wonderful phase.'

And with that he started tapping once again, and a thought struck Sam.

'Say Daniel...' She started looking at him curiously, and felt the two other men follow suit as Daniel looked at her expectantly.

'Yes Sam?'

'What exactly did you _do_ why out while out of phase?'

Of all the reactions Sam had anticipated coming from one Daniel Jackson, the embarrassed blush was not all that high on the list. Though in retrospect, it really should have been.

She and the Colonel looked at each other for a beat before looking at Daniel more seriously.

'Ah... nothing?'

'Nothing my ass Daniel, spill.' The Colonel had clearly made a miraculous recovery as he smacked the shamefaced archaeologist on the arm.

'I wandered around... Tried talking to you guys...'

'Pretty one sided chat I'd wager.' The Colonel pipped in causing Daniel to shoot him a dirty look.

'Aaaaaaaaaaand?' Sam tilted her head closer to Daniel trying to coax some answers out of him.

'I may have seen somethings...' At this he blushed furiously and all three of them leaned in towards him.

'What things?' The Colonel asked in a hushed tone as Sam glanced around the commissary to make sure that no one was eavesdropping.

'I don't want to say!'

'Oh Daniel, you little voyeur! Why I never knew!' The Colonel leaned back with one hand on his chest and fanning himself jokingly. Sam started giggling before leaning in even closer to him.

'What did you see? Or rather who did you see, and more importantly what did you see them doing?' She whispered, her eyes wide and mischievous, and not quite able to control the smirk threatening to play about her features.

'A. I'm an archaeologist, we are the original voyeurs Jack. B. I'm not telling you anything Sam and C. I can't believe you two are looking for gossip!' Daniel gave both officers severe looks, to which they both looked at one another in surprise and then at Teal'c.

'Two of us? I do believe that there are three of us who are quite curious as to the activities of the SGC personnel, Daniel.' Sam nodded emphatically as the Colonel obviously pointed at each of them in turn as she counted them off.

'You two are intuned with one another, it's freaky.' Daniel looked from one to the other and pursing his lips slightly and adjusting his glasses.

'Don't try changing the topic of conversationl! We won't play along.' The Colonel poked him in the arm as she narrowed her eyes at him. Daniel returned her bristled look before sighing and dropping his shoulders.

'Teal'c doesn't seem like the type to be gossiping... Right Teal'c.' Sam laughed shortly at this before crossing her arms across her chest.

'Are you kidding me? Teal'c has this place wired! Anytime I want to know what's going on, I go to either Janet or Teal'c. People in the know.'

'Don't forget that the gate tech guy!' The Colonel pointed at her and Sam shook her head in confusion for a minute.

'Oh Sergeant Harriman! Good call Sir!'

'Thanks. Now back to the conversation at hand. _What did you see?_'

'Wait a minute, Janet?' Daniel looked at her in confusion and she just rolled her eyes in response.

'Nurses.' She could swear that she could hear the 'duh' that was echoing in the Colonel's head as he rolled his own eyes at their friend.

'There is no greater gossiping force.' He deadpanned taking a sip of coffee and watching for Daniel's reaction.

'I don't know about that Sir, the little old ladies in my neighbourhood are a force to be reckoned with.' She countered cradling her own cup of coffee and twitching her eyebrow at him.

'Oh you still a CIA spy with the older "handler"?' The Colonel grinned at her making air quotation marks as Daniel 'huuuuh?' at the pair.

'Oh no, they finally moved onto the alien conspiracies.' Sam jokingly replied, trying not to laugh.

'Reeeally? Only took them what, three years?'

'Give or take, yeah.' At this the Colonel smiled brightly at her and she couldn't help but laugh loudly.

'Those old biddies... God they make not be as accurate as the grape vine here, but they are so much more amusing.' He sighed in appreciation and watched her laugh, smiling slightly.

'They have the time to be really inventive.' She agreed smiling in return before focusing back on Daniel who was watching them in what looked like amused confusion.

'Am I still involved?' He asked cocking his head at her and smirking, as she sighed and nodded.

'For whatever reason, they seem to be insistent on putting us together.' Suddenly Sam couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye and knew that he was also doing the same exact thing. Sam shook her head and exhaled sharply, knowing that Daniel was trying to process the conversation he'd just heard and that Teal'c would never mention it.

'So _what _did you see?'

Judging by his knee jerk reaction that resulted in him knocking scalding hot coffee onto his lap, Sam felt that she shouldn't have asked.

But she really wanted to know.

'C'mon Daniel!'

And so did everyone else.

* * *

**Is it bad to say I giggled as I wrote this? I never know if that's a good sign, or just a general sign of my impending insanity... Who knows, maybe it's the labs that are getting to me... One month in and I have done ONE experiment... with only a month left. Thank god this little ray of inspiration hit me!**

**Also thanks to all the reviews I got for 'Her not so Stalwart Knights'... I wasn't one of my more... unique chapters, more of a sedated piece, so I'm glad people enjoyed it!  
**

**Anyways, please review... the box is right there... just down below, I promise personnel responses to everyone! As I always do!  
**

**Thank you so much (in advance)!  
**


	2. The Truth Comes Out

**The only thing I own, is the idea in the story, nothing else is mine. Though I will say I can't explain how the story went where it did, but I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

'JACK!' Sam glanced up for a moment, before puffing up her cheeks and looking back down at the naquadah reactor. She felt her Dad move towards the door and looking back at her, no doubt in complete bafflement.

'Ah-?' He started moving back towards her and leaning into her field of view.

'Don't ask.'

'But-'

'You wouldn't believe me, even if I did tell you.' She muttered before moving the magnifier into her line of sight and peering through it. Jacob stepped backwards as the Colonel and Daniel both stormed in. She looked at them, before humming and looking straight back down at her work.

'_Sa-am_ can you _please_ make him stop?' Sam didn't move her bent head as she stared up at Daniel with a straight face for about a minute and then studying the device before her again.

'Just tell me and I'll stop!' Sam just puffed up her cheeks again and looked around for a pair of ear plugs, ear muffs, something, anything to drown out the ensuing argument.

'I'm not telling you Jack!'

'Carter! Make him!'

Sam just cricked her neck and glared at both men, and watched as Jacob, stood in between the pair, looked from one to the other. He then looked down at Sam eyebrows raised and slightly quizzical, and she just pulled an exasperated face.

'I am not playing mediator. _Again._' She stood up and poured out a cup of coffee and faced away from the three men sighing internally.

'Ah!' She turned and pointed at the Colonel, aiming a dangerous look as he looked at her, just about to speak. He closed his mouth rather sheepishly and started fiddling with the rubix cube that she had strategically had left on her desk.

Daniel just glared at the man before staring pleadingly at Sam, who just took a sip of coffee and rolled her eyes.

'So what did happen?' Her Dad spat out in total and utter exasperation looking from his daughter to the other two men.

Sam and Daniel groaned in unison and the Colonel face palmed melodramatically, dropping the already half completed rubix cube on the desk.

'Basically, Daniel got zapped-'

'Sent out of phase.' Sam supplied to appease her father's baffled look.

'And was stuck for three days wandering around the base! We then deduced, from his embarrassed and erratic response, that he _saw_ something!'

'The Colonel is really curious as to what he saw, so it's been a few days of _this._' She waved her hand vaguely at the two men who were now staring at her with their hands shoved in their pockets.

'Ah badgering Jack O'Neill style. Fun.' Her Dad nodded smirking slightly and the Colonel smirked in response and Sam found herself rolling her eyes involuntarily again.

Daniel on the other hand groaned loudly as he flopped onto the spare chair in the lab.

'For you two, maybe.' Sam muttered under her breath as she pushed Daniel's arm out of her way. She looked up to see the two air force officers still grinning at one another in a manner that was quite disturbing to her. She raised her eyebrows and shook her head at the man sprawled in her other chair.

'So what did you get up to, in your 'out of phase' time then Daniel?' Sam just sighed as she took in her father's question and cursed her very existence.

And judging from the strangled groan issuing from Daniel, so was he, or the Colonel's existence at the very least, or, in all likelihood, most.

* * *

'How do I make him stop? This is getting insane, all day every day since I may have _implied_ that I saw something. Badgering, badgering, badgering, I can't for love or money distract the incessant Jackass, pun intended, to get him to leave me alone. Sam, please-' Sam stopped dead in the corridor and narrowed her eyes, pursing her lips suspiciously. She looked down at the fresh polystyrene cup of coffee and tilted her head at Daniel expectantly.

'I knew that this cup of coffee wasn't a simple friendly gesture. Trying to bribe me are we Daniel Jackson?'

As he stopped to look at her, spluttering, trying to backtrack Sam just rolled her eyes and held up her hand.

'This is a cup of coffee from McNally's, the best, and priciest coffee joint in town, and made to my very specific tastes, with an extra shot of caramel. You're trying to butter me up Daniel. I've said it once, I'll say it again, I'm not fool, don't take me for one.'

'But-'

'Ah!' She cut across him swiftly and looked over his shoulder to see the source of his annoyance stroll up the corridor and stare at the pair innocently. Well as innocently as Jack O'Neill could manage, and Sam found herself struggling to smother a smile, so she took a sip of coffee to hide it.

'You do know there is one very simple solution to your problem Danny boy.' The Colonel shoved his hands deep into his BDU pockets and started rocking back and forth on his feet excitedly.

'Ack!' Daniel was now the one face palming and Sam couldn't help but laugh at the irritated doctor.

'C'mon Daniel, you know you have too!' She laughed wiggling her eyebrows and grinning brightly at him.

She shared an amused smirk with the Colonel who poked Daniel in the shoulder and nodded encouragingly at him.

'I though _you_ weren't getting involved.' He glared at her, batting the Colonel's hand away and shoving him away.

'I said I wasn't playing mediator, I never said I wouldn't get involved. I really, really want to know what has you so uptight.'

At this the Colonel snorted, causing Daniel to shove him once again and Sam to nod in agreement.

'Okay, even more uptight than usual, I'll give you that Sir.'

'C'mooooon!'

As Daniels head dropped in defeat Sam and the Colonel high fived each other quickly, earning an odd look from Reynolds as he passed by. She shrugged it off, it had be well known at this point that SG-1 were, certainly the most, _unique,_ of teams.

'Fine!'

They hurried into Daniel's lab and the Colonel offered her the other chair in the room, before sitting down on the edge of Daniels desk.

Daniel glanced at them before bustling around the lab, trying to delay the inevitable, but the Colonel shook his head at Sam before chucking a pen at him. The pen bounced off the side of his head, causing Daniel to start, and Sam caught it in her right hand and started twirling it around carelessly.

'You two are completely incorrigible you know that?' He exclaimed rubbing the side of his head with his thumb trying to get rid of ink marks.

'Thank you.' They spoke in unison, looked at one another in surprise and she laughed once again.

'You really want to know what I saw? Fine! But don't blame me if it's a total anticlimax!'

'We will blame you Daniel as if it is a total anticlimax, then Carter and I would know that you were screwing with us from the get go!'

Daniel just sighed and sat down in his chair opposite Sam and plucked the pen from her hand and laid it done next to one of his many notebooks.

'Alright then. As you may have guessed, I tried to communicate with you guys. I wandered around after you and yelled, screamed and tried anything and everything to get you to notice me.'

'So we did sense you around the place? Wow that's amazing, and makes no sense I wonder...' Sam frowned and opened her mouth to ask Daniel some more questions about his attempts, but faltered at the looks she was getting.

'Sorry. Go on.'

'I even noticed that you guys stopped working to find me after a while. Whatever happened to working through the night for one another?'

'Hey, radiation sickness? We were out for a while!' The Colonel interjected in annoyance as Daniel muttered under his breath. She could swear that he said _'I'd do it for you'_, but she couldn't be sure.

'Right.' Daniel countered looking contrite before taking in a deep breath and continuing. The Colonel glared at his friend briefly before picking up one of the artefacts and messing with it. Daniel returned his glare and plucked it away from him. Not that it deterred the Colonel any bit from messing around, however.

'I came close a couple of times; Teal'c seemed to be the most receptive so I decided to give it another few shots...' At this he trailed off awkwardly and the two officers looked at one another for a second before leaning in, curiously.

'Annnnnd?'

'I sorta saw him singing along, rather well actually, to... The Spice Girls.'

Sam's jaw dropped and she felt the Colonel slip off the desk slightly and stumble in his attempt to steady himself.

'Come again?' He asked turning around and placing his arms down on the desk, far apart, leaning on splayed hands.

'He was singing along with The Spice Girls. You know that band Cassie loves.' Daniel shrugged, pulling a decidedly apologetic face as he watched his friends try to process this little tid bit. The Colonel turned swiftly to Sam completely flabbergasted.

'Is he screwing with us? I think he's screwing with us. Don't you think he's screwing with us?'

'I don't know... It seems almost too ridiculous to be a lie or a joke... I think he's telling the truth.' Sam knew that she had never felt or looked so baffled by one piece of information in all her life.

That was an image she'd never be able to get out of her head.

Teal'c singing along to The Spice Girls.

'I knew you were going to say that.'

'See why I didn't tell you guys?' Daniel looked at the pair imploringly as he watched them trying to absorb this insight into their typically stoic friend.

'Major Carter, you father is about to depart, he wishes to see you.' Suddenly all three of them jumped up and spun round to see Teal'c standing in the doorway.

Luckily Sam and the Colonel managed to suppress the sounds of surprise that were threatening to escape. Daniel was not so lucky, but tried to mask it with a harried cough.

She exchanged a panicked look with the Colonel as Teal'c focused on Daniel suspiciously.

'Yes, Dad, right. I- _we_ should go. Say goodbye. Yes?' She managed to squeeze out, trying not to look completely bamboozled and bewildered.

'Indeed.' Teal'c nodded and indicated for her to leave first, clearly having decided to ignore Daniel, who looked close to hyperventilating.

The Colonel looked down at Sam, with the widest eyes she had ever seen and pulled an odd face at her. She nodded in agreement before walking down the corridor in between the Colonel and Teal'c.

'Glad you could spare your old man a few minutes to say goodbye kiddo.' She smiled brightly at her Dad as he watched the four enter the gate room.

'Well I am a very busy woman and whatnot Dad, you should consider yourself lucky.' She joked, pulling him into a hug and laughing lightly.

'Ahhh the price of girl power.' Sam turned slowly to see the Colonel grinning for a moment, before a dawning look of horror seeped into his expression. Daniel face palmed once again as the rest of the gate room, stilled in confusion. Teal'c nodded briefly before turning and stomping out of the room, not before knocking into Daniel painfully, cheeks slightly tinted.

Daniel and Sam looked at one another before staring at the Colonel. The three remained as such for a few moments before dissolving in helpless laughter.

* * *

**Okay, you all asked for a sequel! Here it is! And believe me this was the most believible story I could come up with... Not matter how insane it actually is... I'm blaming my lab project going to all hell, causing me to, with three weeks left in it mind you, to completely change tack and do NEW stuff...**

**College is fun. *head desk* So I'm blaming stress and lack of sleep and overdosing on Lucozade for this.**

**Hope you all enjoy it!**

**(Thanks for all the reviews to chapter 1 by the way! You guys are the most awesome people!)**


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